Did God really tell me who I'm supposed to marry?

This is a followup to my previous post "Lessons from Isaac and Rebecca." In the charasmatic and pentacostal movements we often encounter those who believe that God has spoken to them about who they are supposed to marry. I love the prophetic and I believe that all of us should learn to recognize the voice and heart of God within our lives. But this area of romance is one of the trickiest in which to hear God clearly. Our emotions are so tied to this area- more than probably any other area within our life. Because of this we must be so careful in how we proceed once we receive what we think is a word from God in this area. When we hear a word from God regarding who we should marry there are the following possiblities:

1. It is actually from God. This is usually what we want it to be. Even here we have to be careful to proceed with wisdom. I believe that we almost always have free will when it comes to who we shall marry. The other person has the choice to accept you or not. Don't manipulate them by sharing your word. This gets creepy.... Take it from someone who has been on the receiving end of that. Just go into the secret place and ask God to reveal His perfect will in His perfect timing. And don't be so wedded (pun intended) to the idea of marrying this person that it becomes obbsesive. If it is meant to be then all will work together in time. We need to be aware of the fact that  it also depends on the other person to exercise their free will.

2. It is not from God. It's your own flesh, emotions, etc. In this case it might still be within the will of God but should be eased into with extreme caution. This is where soul-ties might need to be cut that are clouding your discernment. This can be very dangerous as I have seen Godly men and women, who know the voice of God, get tripped up in this area. I have seen a misunderstood word turn into an obsession. I have been on both ends of this, as the one who thought I had a word, and as the one who was someone's "promised one". This is why it is never good to tell someone that you had a dream, vision, etc about them as a spouse. Most dreams and visions, of marriage, are out of the soulish realm and are not of God. When we are an intercessor for someone there is a deep connection in the spirit that can often lead to an intense love. We must understand that this love is purely for intercession and is not meant to lead to romance. If we don't recognize the source and type of love that we have for someone it can be quite confusing.

3. It's God but misinterpreted. I have been the recipient of this misunderstanding. I have seen people who powerfully move in the prophetic get messed up because of this. One time I had a prophetic person pick up on something between me and my sister (can we say eww?). Another time I was praying for a woman, in a service, and as I touched her forehead she fell out in the power of the Holy Spirit and heard the word "covenant." She was confused and thought that it meant marriage when in actuality I was symbolic of a youth prophetic movement that she was supposed to intercede for. Another time I heard the Lord say that I was going to marry a particular person. I thought this was a directional word but in actuality was a warning that if I didn't guard myself then that friendship was going to end up there- which would have been bad for both of us.

The vast majority of the time, when someone thinks that they have heard God speaking to them about who they are supposed to marry, it turns out to be wrong. I know of one pastor who had five of his intercessors come up to him with dreams and visions of them marrying him. Another pastor had three women write to him, while he was engaged, that he was making a big mistake and that they were God's chosen bride for him. We need to have pure hearts in this area and must be aware of our need for healing in this area. For this reason we should never tell someone of a dream, vision, or word- let God speak to them.

In an upcoming post I will cover how we should pray into our future spouse once we do receive revelation. Because, eventually God will show us who our intended spouse is. Sometimes it will be before a dating relationship- sometimes He will use the process of dating to reveal it. But we must learn on how to respond once we do receive revelation and not be afraid to pray, within the guidance of the Spirit, into what God has given us.