Tuesday, September 25, 2012

I Know, but He/She Doesn't Know Yet. How Do I Pray?

This is the third installment of my series about discovering and waiting for your future spouse. Please read my previous posts "Lessons From Isaac and Rebecca" and "Did God Really Tell Me Who I'm Supposed to Marry?" Once God speaks to you there must be action. God always has a reason behind His revelation to His people. First you must determine if you have truly heard from God in this area. If you have heard from God then it is either so that you may act on it or so that you may pray it forth.

Discern from God if action is needed. If you're a guy then you have it easier as men are the initiators. Pray that God would show you the proper time to make a move and pursue this woman that God has shown you. Remain faithful to God's timing. Don't allow this woman to become an idol. Remain faithful to the Father's business. Don't use the word of the Lord to manipulate her. She must also hear from God herself. If you go up to her and declare that it is the Lord's will for the two of you, to date/marry/court/have babies, it makes it so that she can't say no without saying no to the declared word of the Lord. Remember that we always have free will. Even if God showed up in person with the archangel Gabriel, so that you would know His will beyond a shadow of a doubt, He must still speak to her directly.

If you're a woman then you must be patient. Don't try to initiate. Pursue a brotherly/sisterly relationship and allow God to show this man in God's timing- not yours. If you try to rush it you will most likely ruin it. Allow God to speak to you and maintain a heart of surrender before Him so that you might hear His voice.

How can we pray? Prayer is the most important key. We must maintain a heart of tenderness to what the Holy Spirit is telling us. It becomes witchcraft once we start declaring things into the atmosphere from a heart that is hardened to what the Holy Spirit is saying. Do you know those times when you don't want to hear the Holy Spirit because you're afraid that He might say something that is contradictory with what your heart wants? That is a hardened heart. You must be aware that what might have been proper for a season can shift. We must be careful that we are truly praying forth the Lord's will and not praying our own will. I know too many people who have been stuck in their own desire, unwilling to surrender, and have missed the Lord's best in their lives because their heart was hardened to His voice.

There was a woman who was in love with me. She was convinced that God had spoken to her about our marriage. I knew that she was not a good fit for me but still brought it to God and did not receive any confirmation from Him. He showed me that she would not be the type of wife that I need to accomplish my destiny. But she kept on praying that God would open my eyes as He did hers. She did this despite the fact that our pastors, her sisters in Christ, and everybody around her believed that she had misheard God. She had hardened her heart to the Lord's voice and took every little thing as a confirmation even when it wasn't. I felt her prayers and had to in turn pray against them because it had become manipulation which is a form of witchcraft. Don't fall into this trap- listen to those around you.

I know another woman who believes that God has spoken to her about her husband. The guy has no clue and they've met only once. But this woman just continues to pray blessing over him and his ministry. She prays that God would give him clarity in hearing His voice in regards to marriage. She prays that God would show this man His will in His proper timing. This is good for it is partnering with God and her heart is still surrendered before God. She wants God's will for her life and isn't trying to impose her own will on God.

This is such a messy issue because it involves the free will of two different people. Things can shift. Decisions I make can affect the other person and decisions that they make can change things. Just because a marriage or relationship might have been good and perfect doesn't mean that it is always that way. Sometimes we have to do things in our lives so that we might be the type of person that we need to be. So be receptive to what the Lord is telling. Things can shift depending on your actions and decisions just as they can shift on the other person's choices. Don't make the idea of marrying someone an idol so you can no longer hear the Lord's voice in that area. Be receptive to whatever the Lord may tell you- He has your best in mind and will accomplish all things in His perfect timing.

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